


Bleed the Same

by mirrormirrora



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Inspired by IW, Inspired by Star Lord and Gamora in IW, Love, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Malec, Post 3x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-05-24 22:31:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14963427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrormirrora/pseuds/mirrormirrora
Summary: “My magic will kill me before it kills everything else, so please.... Do it for me."





	1. Protect You

It’s close to midnight and it’s those rare nights that Alec is home early from patrol, unhurt and not in any kind of trouble – Most probably because he isn’t out on patrol with Jace this time. Magnus heaves a thankful sigh as he greets Alec by the door, his eyes subtly scanning his boyfriend for injuries. Alec gives him a quick peck on his lips and then tells him that he’s going to get himself cleaned up before joining Magnus in bed. Magnus nods, patting his boyfriend’s chest.

Half an hour later, a warm body slides behind him, arms circling around Magnus’s waist and he smiles when Alec kisses Magnus’s hair tenderly, voice quiet as he asks, “How was your day?”

“Good, I suppose.” Magnus shrugs, nonchalant, “You battle with demons and I battle with a seven year old who turns into a demon herself when it comes to eating vegetables.”

Alec lets out a soft chuckle, “You were at Catarina’s today?”

“She had to cover an extra shift so I volunteered to help look after Madzie,” Magnus hums and then without realizing continues on and says, “It’s not like I’m useful anywhere else anyway.”

Magnus feels the arms around him tense first and he squeezes his eyes in regret. _Damn it, Magnus._ Magnus knows what to expect next and still, it tugs at his heart how Alec’s arms loosens around him. Magnus knows what his boyfriend is going to say next and so, he quickly turns around in Alec’s arms faces him and presses a soft kiss against Alec’s lips.

“Don’t say it,” Magnus quietly whispers, “ _Please_.”

Alec doesn’t even listen as he says with the sincerest of look, “I’m sorry.”

Magnus’s eyes soften because he knows, he knows how sorry Alec is, how guilty he feels. But it’s not his fault. It was never Alec’s fault. It was never Jace’s fault too. It was never any of their fault that he lost his magic. Alec could apologize a million times and still, Magnus would never blame this huge loss on him. Magnus knew what he was getting into when he suggested getting help from his father. He knew his father was manipulative and it didn’t come as a surprise to him that he had asked him for his magic. He wished Alec would understand but Alec hadn’t spent almost a century with his father, Alec hadn’t even spent enough time in this world to understand that sometimes things just happen without reason.

“If-if I had stopped you from going to Edom, then thi-this wouldn’t have happened.” Alec reasons out and to a certain extent that is true. But then again… “If I hadn’t gone to Edom, then I wouldn’t be here right now.”

Magnus runs his fingers through Alec’s hair softly, trying to maintain his voice from quivering as he continues, “Because Jace would have killed you by then.”

“And I wouldn’t be able to continue staying here if you had died.” Magnus’s voice cracks slightly as he continues on, “My heart wouldn’t be able to endure the hurt.”

As those words spills, Magnus feels his body shuddering at the reality of it. He knew Alec meant something to him, but all this time, he had yet to admit that Alec meant his life to him. Perhaps it was his own way to protect himself from the agony he knew would be coming from falling in love with a mortal, or perhaps Magnus was just not ready to accept the reality that Alec and hi would always be so different no matter how alike they believed they could be. But now that Magnus has said it out loud, it feels weird because Magnus knows that even if he is afraid of it, he can’t escape it. It’s the truth, a sad truth, one that he thinks Alec should no longer be hidden from. Alec looks at him, hazel eyes full of emotions that Magnus cannot begin to understand.

But finally, he reaches out and traces Magnus’s cheekbones, “You’ll learn to move on. You… You have to.”

Magnus doesn’t realize it but he releases a soft whimper, sounding so pained and vulnerable that Alec pulls him close. Their chests are pressed against each other and Magnus closes his eyes, hands settling on Alec’s chest as he feels so steady beating of Alec’s heart. He doesn’t like it, he hates talking about this because he wants to tell Alec that it’s impossible to move on from someone like him, someone who has broken down all the perfectly crafted walls he had built for centuries, someone who is so strong, brave, loyal, loving and kind beyond measures and beyond that, someone who has accepted him for who he really was – a monster. Magnus wants to argue and tell Alec that he’d die from a break heart before he will be even begin to think of moving on but he doesn’t want to because Alec is looking at him like that, so confident and sure and determined that Magnus can’t say anything but look away. Alec wants Magnus to move on and Magnus loves Alec so much that he’ll do whatever he wants him to do. Even if it meant moving on. It hurt and so, Magnus doesn’t want to think about it.

Instead, he wonders…

“What would you do?” Magnus questions, whispering into the still night air, “If things were reversed…. If something happened and I… I died.”

Alec tenses once again and this time, Magnus looks up at him. Alec’s hazel eyes are wide though distant. Alec moves in an instant, Alec shuffles and straddles Magnus, gently trapping him beneath his solid body. He closes the gap between the both of them and kisses Magnus, long, hard and with full of passion. His tongue swipes his mouth and his teeth nips lightly at Magnus’s bottom lip. Magnus doesn’t realize how long they’ve kissed before Alec pulls away, hazels shining beautifully as he gazes at Magnus. The look Alec is giving him makes Magnus’s stomach drop in warmth and fear, a combination Magnus never thought would be possible. He feels the warmth in Alec’s gaze because Magnus has seen this look before when Alec looks at Izzy, Jace and his mother. It’s a gaze full of love and commitment. Magnus shivers as he literally feels the fear, feels it down to his bones as the hazel eyes blaze with so much fiery passion and protectiveness that Magnus feels afraid all of a sudden, afraid of what Alec might do, would do, just for him.

“That’s impossible,” Alec says, voice full of promise, “I’d never let that happen.”

“I’ll protect you, Magnus.” Alec promises, lips pressed against Magnus’s ears, “With all my life.”

As Alec presses himself closer to Magnus and trails kisses down Magnus’s jaw, neck and collarbones, Magnus closes his eyes just to feel the softness of Alec’s lips against his sensitive skin. He decides that this conversation shall be continued another day. Today, right now, he’ll take Alec’s promises and let go and he’ll give Alec something else in return, his love to him. As Alec removes both their clothes and slides into him slowly, Magnus brushes his lips against Alec’s temples and whispers,

“And protect me you will, Alexander.”


	2. Promises

Magnus offers his help whenever he can, dropping by the Institute to assist in whatever he can. If he thought stepping into the Institute as a warlock was torture, well stepping into the Institute as a ‘mundane’ feels much worst. Magnus didn’t think that he’d be considered a mundane – he guesses that he must still be immortal knowing his father fully well and that one person’s sorrow is his happiness- but these Shadowhunters could not be bothered with details like these if it does not concern them.

Magnus steps into the lab where he spots Isabelle in a black dress and a white coat, twirling a pen while her eyes scans across a row of words on some stacks of papers. Magnus clears his throat and Izzy flashes a wide smile, gesturing for him to come on in.

“You’re early,” Izzy states and then points at the bag Magnus is holding, “What’s that?”

“Well,” Magnus’s cheeks flushes a little as he clears his throat, not knowing why he’s suddenly feeling so weird and embarrassed about it. “I dropped by your brother’s favourite Italian restaurant and got something for him.”

Magnus pulls out a takeout box from the bag and places it onto the table, “I bought some for your too.”

Izzy smiles gratefully as he squeezes Magnus’s biceps, “Magnus, you didn’t have to.”

“Oh, I know you Shadowhunters are busy with your jobs, it’s the least I can do.” Magnus waves his hand.

“I’ll call Alec and we can have dinner first before we begin,” Izzy suggests, grabbing a phone and calling her brother, asking him to come down. Magnus chuckles when Alec questions Izzy why but Izzy teases her brother and tells him that it’s a surprise.

While Izzy and Alec chat over the phone, Magnus brings the takeout boxes onto an empty table outside the lab and starts putting them out. He busies himself, trying not to think of how his body feels extremely exhausted from all that travelling previously from trying to get to Alexander’s favourite restaurant. He didn’t realize how much he would miss travelling to different places with portals. How do mundanes and, heck, how do these Shadowhunters even do this? Travelling without portals?

“Magnus,”

Magnus shakes his head, realizing that Izzy is calling him and he turns to her, “Hmmm?”

Izzy gazes at Magnus for a second, the usual smile on her is replaced with a frown. Magnus wonders if he had missed what she said, but instead, the frown is gone in an instant before she smiles again, her usual Izzy-like smile that brightens the whole room in an instant.

“Alec’s coming down,” Izzy tells him, “But he doesn’t know you’re here.”

Just as Izzy tells him that, the elevator dings and Magnus recognizes the cologne first before he sees his boyfriend walking down the hallway. Alec’s hazel eyes travels from Izzy to Magnus, his lips tiling up into a soft smile and Magnus feels his heart leap out of his chest. It doesn’t matter how long he has been with Alexander because he thinks he will never get over this awful lovestruck reaction whenever he sees his boyfriend.

“Magnus,” Alec greets, tilting his head down to give him a soft kiss on his lips, “What are you doing here?”

“Bought you lunch,” Magnus responds, hands tapping Alec’s broat chest, “Wouldn’t want the Head of the New York Institute and of course, the most beautiful weapon’s master here to starve now, wouldn’t I?”

Izzy grins at the flattering compliment while Alec rolls his eyes teasingly. He kisses Magnus’s cheeks one more time before taking a seat next to him. They start digging in, having light conversation in between bites. Magnus asks Alec where Jace is telling him that he wasn’t sure if Jace would be at the institute today and so hadn’t bought him anything. Alec assures Magnus that it’s fine and that Alec isn’t in, having been on assignment.

Once they’re done, they clean up and Izzy gets a call from one of the Shadowhunters requesting for her help identifying some information at the Ops Centre. Izzy excuses herself and promises Magnus that she’ll be right back once she’s done, leaving Alec and Magnus alone. Once Izzy is gone, Alec takes Magnus hands and intertwines them.

“Thank you for lunch,” Alec says, kissing Magnus temples, “You really shouldn’t have went through all that trouble.”

“It wasn’t any trouble at all, Alexander.” Magnus replies. _You know I’d do anything for you._

Alec soft smiles slowly disappears and Magnus slightly panics wondering if his Shadowhunter is suddenly able to read his mind and has heard his recent thought. Alec steps closer to Magnus, fingers brushing across Magnus’s cheeks suddenly, the light air around them shifting. Magnus wonders if it’s Isabelle, that she radiates light and peace and now that she isn’t here, everything feels wrong, tense and dark.

“Is everything okay?” Magnus questions worriedly, one hand cupping Alec’s cheek while the other is on his waist, holding his lover close.

“I…. Magnus… I….” Alec stutters and Magnus knows that whatever it is that Alec has to say, he will not like it at all.

Alec closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as he tries to calm himself before he opens his eyes, staring straight at Magnus before he says, “I’m just worried.”

Magnus tilts his head, confused before Alec continues, “I’m worried about you, Magnus.”

 _Oh_.

 “I don’t think it’s safe for you to-”

“Alexander, _don’t_.” Magnus releases his hold on Alec, frustrated that Alec would even think of saying that.

Alec pinches the bridge of his nose, his lips drawn into a tight line as he sighs, “Magnus, I just-”

“I’m very capable of taking care of myself, Alexander.”

“I know that but what if-”

Magnus groans into his hands, not allowing Alec to continue before he points a finger at his boyfriend’s chest, frustrated, “Just because I lost my magic does not mean that I am weak.”

“I’m not saying that,” Alec throws his hands in his air, “All I’m saying is that I’m worried for you. There are demons everywhere and I just want you to take extra precautions.”

“By _not_ leaving my loft?” Magnus scoffs, “Of course, just lock the worthless magicless warlock up so that he won’t get in trouble with demons. Real smart, _Shadowhunter_.”

Magnus knows he’s done it. Alec immediately stiffens at Magnus’s hostile tone and he steps back, running a hand down his face. Suddenly, he looks exhausted and like he’s aged ten years. Magnus swallows a huge lump of guilt down his throat and his eyes scan over his boyfriend’s face.  

“Magnus,” Alec whispers brokenly, his hands clenches by his sides as he closes his eyes, “Please… Please don’t say that again.”

When Magnus does not respond, Alec opens his eyes, takes a step closer to Magnus and cups his face, “You are never worthless.”

Magnus swallows hard, eyes stinging as he stares into Alec’s hazel eyes. Magnus has always loved Alec’s eyes, but this time, he wonders if he can love such eyes overfilled with so much love, hope ad fear shining in them. Magnus wonders if he’s worth Alec’s raw feelings towards him as he stares at him. Alec thumbs stroke Magnus’s cheeks, eyes pleading Magnus to please, _please_ never say that, never think that ever again.

And for once, Magnus wants to believe and maybe, just this time, Magnus will let himself believe that Alec is right, that he’s not worthless.  

Magnus closes his eyes, leans his head further into Alec’s warm hands as he softly whispers, “I’m sorry for making you mad, Alexander.”

Alec breathes out and brushes his lips against Magnus’s tenderly and then pulls him into a hug. Magnus breathes Alec in, allows himself to feel protected in Alec’s arms and closes his eyes praying that time would just freeze so that he could spend the rest of eternity right here in Alec’s arms.

“I just want to protect you, Magnus.” Alec whispers, lips against Magnus’s temples.

Magnus has heard that multiple times now but his heart still swells with unconditional and pure love every time Alec tells him that. They’re still hugging, both not wanting to break apart, both wanting to feel each other in their arms for as long as they can.

“You know demons are afraid of me,” Magnus whispers, “Because of who my father is.”

“But that still won’t stop them from attacking you,” Alec reasons out, “Magnus, I just want you safe.”

“I know,” Magnus sighs, “I know, Alexander and I’m sorry for lashing out on you.”

“It’s just,” Magnus takes a deep breath when his voice cracks, “You can’t protect me forever.”

“I can and I will.” Alec promises and he sounds so sure that Magnus actually believes him and it makes Magnus shudder because he has never seen or heard Alec ever being this confident.  “I promise you that I’ll do everything and anything I can to protect you, Magnus.”

At this, Magnus releases himself from Alec’s hold because he needs to calm down from these intense emotions in him. Alec is looking at him with a confident and determined look and Magnus wants to step into his boyfriend’s arms once more but he stops himself, his body tensing when he realizes how ironic this all is. He wants to laugh, he wants to cry when he realizes the irony of this. Alec wants to protect him and Magnus knows Alec will, Magnus believes Alec will do everything in his power to keep him safe. But it’s funny because a flash of his father’s smirking face flashes in his mind and Magnus feels nauseous because he knows now what Alec would be fighting against if he ever wanted to keep Magnus safe and Magnus wants to cry because he doesn’t want that, he never wants to put Alec through that.

“Alexander,” Magnus breathes shakily, wishing that he didn’t have to tell Alec this, but he does and he doesn’t like this but… Alec has to know, Alec has to do this, only Alec. “What if you had to protect me from… _Me_?”

Magnus hears Alec’s sharp breath first before he sees the confusion and uneasiness on Alec’s face, “Wha-What do you mean?”

Magnus stands a little straighter even though the expression on Alec is killing him. He closes the gap between them, fingers fitting in through the gaps between Alec’s. He has to do this, he has to and it’s either now or never.

“Alexander,” Magnus takes a deep breath, “There will be a time when I _will_ get my magic back. I have no doubt that my father will give it back. But when I do get my magic back…. I know my father will not be kind. It’ll be dark magic, magic that will change water to blood, souls to ashes and brightness to darkness.”

“My magic will kill me before it kills everything else.” Magnus whispers, as Alec’s hold on him tightens. Magnus closes his eyes, feeling them burn with the tears he doesn’t want Alec to see, “When that time comes, you’ll have to hold onto your promise, my love and protect me with everything that you have. Promise me that, Alexander.”

“I… I promise, Magnus.” Alec whispers, though his voice is unsure and laced with fear, like he knows what Magnus will say and that he’s breaking just like Magnus.  

This time, Magnus looks up and looks directly into Alec’s eyes. He lets Alec sees his tear-filled eyes and Alec’s eyes start to water as well. Magnus takes a deep breath before he settles his hand on Alec’s wild beating heart, trying to calm It down though he knows that it’s impossible, so instead, he cups Alec’s cheek and then whispers,

“When my father comes back for me... You have to kill me, Alexander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love angst, angst loves me.   
> (I love comments and kuddos too actually heh)  
> Thanks for reading!   
> \- Mira


	3. Sacrifices

Alec loves Magnus, unconditionally, exceptionally.

Alec loves Magnus so much that he knows that he will sacrifice his everything for his lover. Alec has promised that he will do anything for Magnus Bane and he means every word of it. But Alec doesn’t think that anything includes taking Magnus’s own life away. It’s honestly a little outrageous. Okay, maybe not little, like maybe a lot.

_“Magnus, I don’t think I can do that.”_

Alec remembers telling Magnus that one day that Magnus has admitted to him what he was most afraid of – Getting his magic back as dark magic, his father using him to destroy the world, Magnus becoming dark and too powerful for his own good. Alec is shocked to hear that Asmodeus can do that but when he thinks again, he shudders at the realization of how this could all be very _very_ plausible. Asmodeus is a greater demon, a fallen angel and Magnus Bane is his son. Like it or not, Magnus has his blood running through his vein and has been alive for hundreds of years. Magnus is capable of black magic and destruction. Alec has seen Magnus using his magic for battle and the image of Iris Rouse, dangling in the air, lifted by Magnus’s magic flashes in his head. Magnus is powerful and if he’s returned his magic one day, then hell is going to break loose.

_“You have to. It’s the only way.”_

Alec remembers how Magnus had looked at him, eyes shining with guilt and plead. Alec remembers swallowing a lump down his throat, his gut screaming at him to say no, to deny him such a promise. But Alec’s never one to follow his guts when it came down to Magnus Bane. From the moment that Alec had stepped down the aisle at his own wedding to kiss Magnus, Alec has always followed his heart. So Alec nods with a heavy heart.

“ _Okay_ ,” Alec had whispered heavily and just like that, a promise had been made.

Alec still wonders to this day if he’s made a mistake because he cannot for the life of him gets over it. It’s close to a month now since they’ve had that conversation. Magnus hasn’t spoken anything else of it and Alec thank the Angels every day that Magnus doesn’t do so. Alec is a man of strength and confidence but if Alec must go through another heart-breaking conversation like that once again, Alec thinks that he won’t be able to make it. The thought of him being responsible for his lover’s own life… Scares him. It puts him in a constant state of anxiety.

As the day goes on, Alec finds himself stretching and yawning before he’s slipping under the covers, into the warmth of Magnus’s arms. His boyfriend is already asleep, having spent a day with Catarina and Madzie at a Carnival. Alec smiles thinking of the pictures Magnus had sent to him. He’s glad that his boyfriend had some fun.

“Hey,” Magnus’s voice fills the silence of the room, “You’re back?”

“I am,” Alec whispers quietly, hands circling Magnus’s waist, “Sorry for waking you up.”

Magnus turns around in Alec’s arm, eyes closed still but with a small smile on his lips, “It’s okay. Missed you today.”

Alec kisses Magnus’s temples, “Missed you too.”

Magnus smiles candidly and his breathing starts getting slower and he falls back asleep. Alec’s eyes locks onto his boyfriend’s face, taking in every little detail of Magnus. Alec sighs as he thinks back of his promise and he prays, prays to anyone listening, prays for another day, prays for a tomorrow with Magnus Bane.

Because Alec knows that it’s a _when_ and not an if.

_“When my father comes back for me, you have to kill me, Alexander.”_

_***_

Alec feels someone shaking him awake violently and his eyes widen in surprise.

Magnus’s face comes into view, his eyes are wide and full of fear and Alec dreads for what he’s going to hear.

“Alexander,” Magnus breathes, “It’s my father.”

Alec sits upright, hands cupping Magnus’s face, “What’s going on?”

“He’s _here_.”

Alec’s heart stops. He watches Magnus and he’s frozen, torn between wanting to pull Magnus into his arm or push him out of the bed, out of the loft, out of anyone’s sight and hide him away from the whole world. There’s a heavy silence between the both of them before Magnus breaks it, voice slightly catching in his throat.

“He’s in the city,” Magnus tells him, “Catarina called me. He’s… He’s wreaking havoc.”

“How-how did he….” Alec doesn’t complete his sentence but Magnus knows what he’s asking. Magnus always knows.

“He has my magic,” Magnus replies quietly looking down to his hands, “I was the one who banished him.”

Magnus doesn’t have to explain anything, anymore. When Alec’s phone beeps, Alec looks to Magnus and then the both of them are nodding. There’s no time for this. Alec knows that his Shadowhunters are going into battle and he has to join them because this isn’t just anybody, this is a greater demon. Alec and Magnus gets up, get changed and before they leave, Alec pulls Magnus back into a bone crushing hug. Magnus leans his head against Alec’s chest, hands slipping around his waist while Alec holds Magnus close to him, lips kissing Magnus’s hair. If Alec has a choice, he wants to stay here, holding Magnus close just like this for the rest of his life.

“I won’t let him do anything to you,” Alec promises, “I won’t.”

“I know,” Magnus nods and then steps back to look into Alec’s eyes. He smiles softly before placing a hand on Alec’s cheeks, thumbs rubbing Alec’s cheekbones, “I love you, Alexander.”

“I love you too,” Alec whispers, heart racing as Magnus leans in to brush his lips against Alec’s. It’s a slow kiss but Alec feels what Magnus is trying to tell him, he feels the fear, the sorrow and guilt. Alec tilts his head and kisses Magnus more urgently. The both of them pull back in a matter of seconds because they know that there is a war on their way. Before they leave, Alec holds Magnus close and closes his eyes as he tries to memorize this feeling of warmth that Magnus is always providing him with. Alec doesn’t want to say goodbye but why is his heart telling him that that is what he should be doing.

***

When they arrive at the scene of Asmodeus wreckage, there are cars wrecked, people injured and dead, splatters of blood around and Alec unglamours his weapon. He spots Izzy who is fighting a demon and he quickly knocks an arrow and fires it at the demon. Izzy’s head snaps to where the arrow has come from and she nods her head in acknowledgment, mouthing a ‘be careful’ before she heads off to slay more demons.

“These are certainly my father’s.” Magnus’s voice catches him off guard. Magnus stops next to him, taking in the creatures around the town.

“House pets?” Alec asks, raising his brow as he shoots another arrow at a demon heading towards Underhill’s way.

“You can say that,” Magnus tilts his head, “Water. Alexander, they’re created from the flames of edom. You need water to weaken them.”

“Got it,” Alec nods and then pulls out his communicator, informing his Shadowhunters in battle of what Magnus has told him.

He doesn’t leave Magnus out of sight as Alec nocks arrow after arrow to the demons. Izzy had gifted Magnus a sword the other day as a thank you for saving Jace and Alec hears the clinking of metal as Magnus pulls it out and dives next to him to kill the demons. Alec wishes that he could lock Magnus somewhere far, far away from here but at the same time, Alec knows that Magnus would rather be here slaying his father’s house pets than be locked up.

Alec suddenly feels it then, the air around him feels warm and stale. He grips his bow hard, eyes narrowing as he scans his surrounding and suddenly everything freezes, time stops and Alec’s breath is caught tight in his throat. He blinks and it’s dark, too dark. He looks around, feet unwilling to move because for the first time in a long time, Alec feels his heart beat in fear of what’s to come.

“ _Shadowhunter_ ,” The voice calls out to him, eerily loud as it echoes in his ears and the hairs on Alec’s arms stand in fear.

“Show yourself,” Alec demands, his voice quivering. He’s scared but he knows who he’s dealing with and he’s not going to let fear win, no, not this time, not ever. Once more, he demands, “Show yourself, Asmodeus!”

A loud sinister laugh echoes through the air and suddenly, Alec’s vision is filled with bright lights. He’s back to where he had been a minute ago. Izzy is by his side with wide eyes, and Alec follows her line of vision and his heart _stops_.

A man is holding onto Magnus, arms holding him by his neck, his cat eyes eyes narrowing on Alec and a proud smirk splayed on his lips. Magnus pushes against his arm but it doesn’t bulge and when he looks to Alec, Alec wants the whole world to swallow him up.

“We’ve finally met, Shadowhunter.” The same voice that had called him earlier fills the tense environment.

“Let Magnus go,” Alec warns through gritted teeth, his bow in place.

“Oh but my dear boy,” Asmodeus grins like a wild cat, “I’ve something of Magnus’s that I plan to return.”

_There will be a time when I will get my magic back. I have no doubt that my father will give it back_

Alec realizes that _this_ , this is the time Magnus has been talking about. This is _when_. His knuckles are turning white from how he’s gripping onto his weapon but he doesn’t let it go. He’s shaking, his heart feels like it’s about to burst but yet Alec doesn’t move. He isn’t able to. His eyes meets Magnus’s and immediately, he _knows_.

“ _When my father comes for me, you have to kill me, Alexander.”_

Magnus is looking at him with pleading eyes that are filled with unshed tears now. Alec shakes his head, _no,_ he can’t do this. He _won’t._ Because he doesn’t know how he’ll live a life without Magnus and he doesn’t know how he’ll live knowing that he had been the one who had taken Magnus’s life.

“Alexander,” Magnus calls, voice as clear as day, “You _promised_.”

Alec feels a tear running down his cheeks and he wants to ignore how his heart is breaking, how his body wants to collapse from this heartache. His eyes are on Magnus and for a moment, it feels like there is no war around them, just Alec and Magnus.

“It’s okay.” Magnus says again, and this time, his voice grows more desperate and he whispers, “ _Please_ , Alexander.”

It’s too painful and Alec forces himself to look away. He always has a plan, always has a way out. He’s been living with Jace and Izzy for years and has been forming escape route plans ever since he’s six. But his eyes meets Asmodeus and he feels fiery anger swirling through him. Asmodeus is watching him, eyes intense and amused, he tilts his head and Alec catches the gold in his cat’s eyes reflecting against the sunlight. It’s so familiar and yet, Alec doesn’t feel the kind of warmth and love from those eyes. He feels hatred, pain and evil, he sees them reflecting in the cat eyes and Alec’s grip on his bow impossibly tightens because, he _knows_ , he knows what he has to do.

He lowers his arms, brings the bow in line with Magnus instead of his father and his whole body is shaking.

“Interesting,” Asmodeus’s voice draws out as he eyes the weapon that’s pointed straight at Magnus’s heart, “Would you really do it, I wonder?”

“He doesn’t want to be like you,” Alec coldly says, “How does that makes you feel? A son who choses to die than be with his father.”

For a split second, Alec sees Asmodeus face shift into something unreadable. It’s there for a second before he growls and red, scorching fire surrounds them. Alec feels himself break into a sweat with the heat but he doesn’t move away. He stands his ground but he feels himself being dragged forward so fast that his breath is knocked out of him when he stops.

He realizes that he’s standing right in front of Magnus, their bodies just centimetres apart. He feels his hand light of weapon and when he looks down, he realizes that he’s only holding onto his seraph blade. Asmodeus isn’t holding Magnus anymore but Magnus isn’t running away and Alec knows that even without his father holding him, he won’t be able to run away. This is it. There’s no running away, not anymore.

“Go ahead then, _do it_.” Asmodeus says from behind them, voice full of challenge, “Prove your love to him.”

Alec is shaking but he feels hands cup his jaws and he looks into Magnus’s eyes. His hand desperately grab onto Magnus’s and they’re both shaking and sweating but Alec couldn’t care less.

“It’ll be okay,” Magnus whispers, “I’ll be okay.”

“Magnus,” Alec’s voice catches in his throat. He doesn’t know where to even begin.

“I love you, Alexander.” Magnus whispers, quiet but calm. “I trust you.”

“I… Magnus, I can’t.” Alec releases a shaky sob, shaking his head.

“You can, you can, Alexander,” Magnus’s voice cracks, “Do it. For me. For us.”

“I… I don’t want to hurt you,”

Magnus shakes his head, a small smile spreading across his lips. He closes the gap between them and his lips meets Alec’s in a tender kiss. He pulls away all too fast before he brings Alec’s hands down to the one that holding the seraph blade.

“You can never hurt me, Alexander.”

Both of Alec’s hands grips the handle of the seraph blade tight as Magnus lets him go and hugs him, tight, hiding his face in the crook of Alec’s neck. Alec feels Magnus’s warm breath on his neck, he feels the collar or his jacket growing wet and he hears Magnus whispering, “I love you, Alexander.”

Alec holds one free hand up, holding Magnus’s head, holding him close to him and whispers, “I love you, Magnus Bane.”

He lifts his seraph blade, brings in between their bodies and squeezes his eyes tightly closed before he plunges the seraph blade into Magnus.

He doesn’t hear anything after that because suddenly there’s a puff of air in his face and Magnus is gone. He steps back, tears blinding his vision before he manages to catch Asmodeus’s smirking face in front of him.

“No need for such sacrifices, Nephilim.” Asmodeus grins, “I wanted to see how far you’d go for my son.”

Asmodeus looks at him intensely before he steps back, hands sparkling a bright red as he tilts his head, “I guess I’ll be seeing you in Edom very soon my dear boy.”

And with that, the Prince of Hell disappears. The demons vanish in a puff of air and Alec drops onto his knees, his body giving out from the exhaustion. He fists his jacket and his eyes stares down onto the dark burnt road. He swears to every angel out there that he’ll bring Magnus back even if it means going to hell and back, even if it means going to Edom.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first Malec fic, so I hope it'll be okay and I'm a little nervous for it! Anyway, I've been so salty and angsty about the cancellation of season 4 that this came up, fml. #Saveshadowhunters someone, please. Also, follow me on twitter! @magnusdeserves and @magnusbaneisbae (Why do I have 2 accounts? For obvious shadowban reasons ugh). Please drop a comment here or twitter and tell me what you think! I'll appreciate it a lot! <3


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